Deep Within the Shades of Gray
by BlackRain88
Summary: Sam was bitten by Madison before they killed her, and now Sam is a werewolf. Despite Sam's protests, Dean refuses to kill his brother and insists on looking after him durring every full moon. Warnings inside! Oh, and Wincest!


It's come to my attention that I've been an extreme bitch to my readers, not updating and all..... I love all of my readers and I'm sooooo sorry. I will update eventually, I haven't forgotten about the stories. So, I've decided to give you all a taste of what the hell I HAVE been doing. This is an rp done with a fellow writer, Hunter King on "The Devils Gate". I've reorganized it kind of so it flows more as one story. I play Dean and she plays Sam. The idea was mine and the plot was mine. :)

Disclaimer: Sam and Dean own eachother, but I own neither of their sweet asses.

Warnings: RAPE! Dark!Sam Dark!Dean

* * *

Tonight was going to be the first night of Sam's... change. Dean was more nervous about it then he'd ever admit. He was scared. Scared something would go wrong. Scared for his brother. Hell, scared OF his brother at some points.

Madison was dead, but she left Sam a parting "goodbye" kiss at the back of his Sam's neck, right where Madison had her own "love bite". Now Sam was a fucking werewolf, and there was no cure in sight. Sam wanted to kill himself or for Dean to do it for him. Hell, it was probably the right thing to do...

But Dean was NOT going to let Sam die dammit! Sammy was all he had left. Dad was gone, the yellow eyed demon was god-knows-where, and he didn't want to be left all alone. Hell, he barely held it together as it was. Every day, the aching hole in his heart caused by Dad's absense had grown and grown, consuming him. It hurt so much, he could barely breathe sometimes... and now Sam was a monster. At this point, Dean just didn't care. He was still his brother. They'd get through this.... and if they didn't, if Sam was going down, then he was going to drag Dean down right the fuck with him.

Dean tried to tell himself that Sam was only gonna be different durring the full moon when he fell asleep, but... hell. He was fooling himself. Sammy was acting different. He knew that. He could see it in his eyes. The way Sam looked at him, smelled things, glared at random passerbyers. Hell, Dean had even heard him GROWL at someone not too long ago. It scared the hell out of Dean. What was happening to his sweet baby brother inside?

Sam was a monster. An even bigger freak than he had been before. As if the crazy visions weren't enough, now he was going to become a monster. A werewolf. And it was going to happen tonight. There was no way around it. Tonight, the full moon was going to appear high in the sky, and he was going to change.

When he had first been bitten, he had prayed to whoever was listening that Madison had merely scratched him really hard. But deep down, he knew that wasn't the case. After all, he had been scratched in the face, and the new injury felt nothing like that.

God, why the hell had he been so damn stupid?! Any idiot knew that sex with a werewolf was going to turn out badly. Maybe he figured since he was a freak, it would be different for him. Well, he had been sadly mistaken. He let his dick trump his brain, and now he was paying the price. Him and Dean both.

Sure, it all started out fine and dandy. Madison hadn't changed the night before, and he figured they were home free. They all did. Unfortunately, when they were in the throes of passion, he had apparently worn Madison out. And that, mixed with her lack of sleep the night before, had casued her to basically pass out when they were finished. And Sam, being the cuddly type of person he was, had cuddled with her as he fell asleep. Damn idiot.

Later, he heard something, causing him to jerk awake, only to find Madison, in her wolf form, snarling at him. As she was about to jump out the window, Sam grabbed her, earning himself a few more claw marks to his arms, one across his chest, and a few to go with the bite mark at the back of his neck. Needless to say, he let her go after that. He knew he should have called Dean right away, but he was scared. First, he cleaned up, then called Dean.

His brother hadn't found out about his bite mark until the week after. Sam played dumb and pretended to have not noticed it, telling Dean it happened while he and Madison were in bed together, and he hadn't noticed it due to the pleasure coursing through his body.

Dean bought it, so Sam left it at that.

That had been a month ago. Sam could feel the changes in him over the past month, and he could tell his body was ready to change. But HE wasn't ready, dammit! He didn't want to be a monster. Didn't want to think about what would happen when he changed. Would it hurt? What would happen exactly? Would he be able to control it if he tried really hard?

All these questions and no answers. And Dean wasn't much help, telling him that they could keep him locked up and nothing bad would happen. What would happen if he got out? If he hurt Dean? Sam couldn't live with himself if he ever did anything to hurt his brother. And no matter how much he begged, Dean refused to put a silver bullet in his heart. Damn idiot.

"This is your last chance, Dean," Sam warned as they left the diner, his first words spoken since they got there. "Tonight, it's going to happen, and we can't stop it. Please, do the right thing here. Put me out of my misery before it happens." Hazel eyes fell on jade, pleading with his brother to just end him before he had a chance to hurt anybody.

Sam turned to look at Dean as they exited a diner and spoke suddenly. Dean nearly jumped in the air in surprise. The man hadn't said a thing to him since they got in the diner! Then he glared at Sam with all of his might.

"NO Sam. I'm not going to kill you."

Sam glared right back when Dean refused to do what he wanted him to. Lately, he hadn't been very tolerant of his brother's disobedience. Truthfully, it pissed him the hell off.

It was one of the extremely few times Dean didn't even feel a tiny 'maybe' at the sight of Sam's pleading eyes. Sam wasn't dying! He wasn't going to leave Dean all alone again! He didn't care if it was selfish or stupid. Sam was his brother, and everything else had been taken from him. He wasn't going to let his brother go too.

He didn't care that Sam "might" get out. He didn't care that he'd have to tie him down every month. He didn't care if he had to work 24 hours a day to keep Sam human. Sam was going to stay with Dean. Damn everything else in the world to hell!

Didn't Dean see what was happening?! How, each day, something in Sam changed just a little more? Like his senses became intensified. And his anger was growing substantially. It was like every little thing pissed him the fuck off lately. He had GROWLED at a man that was standing to close to him one day, for Christsakes! How could that be okay?!

His brother wasn't an idiot. He knew Dean could see what was happening. Dean was just too afraid of losing his brother to do anything about it! Well, in Sam's mind, that was just unacceptable. Dean needed to understand that Sam was dangerous, and it was safer for all parties if he just died before anything could happen.

He'd do it himself if Dean didn't want to.

"And I'm not going to let you kill yourself either!" he snapped at the look in Sam's eyes as he got into the impala and slammed the door shut, not leaving anything else open to discussion.

When Dean got into the car and told him he wouldn't ALLOW Sam to kill himself, Sam growled and Dean shuddered. Low. Deep. Dangerous. "How are you going to stop me if I choose to blow a hole in my chest, Dean?" Sam challenged, his gaze intent on his older brother.

A part of Dean wanted to drive the fuck out of there and not look back, to run, but a stronger part, the will to live in Dean, made him turn and give the other a cold steely gaze.

"If you try to touch a gun with a silver bullet, I'll wrestle it out of your hands. If you grab it before I can and it's too late for me to stop you, I'll hold a gun to my own head and threaten to blow my brains out. Don't think that I won't do it Sammy, because I will."

He glared at Sam again. He was the only thing keeping Dean going, and if he went down... Dean would go down right along with him. Nothing else mattered.

"Now get in the car Sammy," he said, starting it and clenching his hands around the steering wheel.

Sam knew Dean wasn't lying. After all, Dean was really big on family. And Sam was all he had left. Once Sam was gone, Dean didn't really have anything to live for. But it shouldn't be like that. Dean should continue hunting. Doing what he loved. Not worrying about who was by his side and who wasn't.

Not that Sam could tell Dean that. He would end up freaking out on the younger male, and Sam's emotions weren't really under control as it was. Sam didn't want to run the risk of lashing out and hurting Dean over something so petty.

Frowning, Sam sulked to the passenger side door, tugging it open before folding his tall frame into the vehicle. "Fine. Do whatever you want, Dean," he spat. "I don't fucking care! You think you can control me when I change, be my guest! But if I wake up with blood on my hands, I'll find a way to off myself. Mark my words."

He didn't want to tell Dean his worst fear was that he was going to wake up with Dean's blood on his hands. If he hurt Dean while he was a monster, he didn't know what he would do. He wouldn't know how to live with himself.

Dean sighed, not saying a word. Sam had given in as much as he was going to at the moment, and that was all that mattered. He'd just take this thing one baby step at a time. If Sam did escape, he'd see what he'd do then. Most likely, he'd have to track Sam down, wipe the blood or whatever off of his hands, drag him home, and pretend nothing ever happened.

It wasn't like Sam would remember anyway. That Madison girl didn't.

Dean didn't care how cruel he was being. He deserved a break. After every bad thing he hunted and killed, it wouldn't fucking matter too much if he let JUST ONE of them live. There were things everywhere that never got killed, so why couldn't Sammy be one of them?

They spent the rest of the ride home in silence, and Dean hoped that Sam didn't fall asleep on the drive home and change early.

Sam was done talking about this. He was all for trying to stay alive so Dean didn't have to be alone when they thought there was a chance they had missed something with Madison. But now, there was no hope. What did he have to look forward to? Changing into a monster and possibly hurting the one person in this world who meant something to him? He couldn't stand to think like that.

The silence was a welcoming change. It gave him time to think. And he needed time to think for sure. There were so many different things about him, now. His hearing was so good that this morning when Dean had taken a shower, he thought he could hear every individual droplet of water hitting his brother's flesh. And he could smell a burger cooking from a mile away. Plus, his eyes were a lot sharper now. He saw every little movement that his brother made. There was nothing Dean could do that Sam didn't see.

But what disturbed him most about these new changes were the feelings that had developed for Dean. He loved his brother, sure. Always had and he was sure he always would. But he wasn't just feeling that brotherly love towards Dean that was always there. It was something else now, too. Lust. He hated to admit it, but there was no denying it. Sam was turned on by every little thing about his brother. In fact, he often found himself daydreaming about Dean's full lips being wrapped around his cock as he fucked his brother's mouth relentlessly over this past month.

It was wrong. And sick, but Sam couldn't deny it. He just hoped when he changed he wouldn't act upon it. Talk about driving a wedge between a relationship.

As they continued to drive, Sam hoped to God he was able to control this. Some part of his was still human when he changed, right? Maybe he could force his human side to overpower the wolf side and maintain control of this situation.

The motel room. They were back already. And Dean looked tired, so there was no chance of him staying up and keeping Sam company. Maybe if they both pulled an all nighter, Sam wouldn't have to worry about changing.

But he knew if Dean didn't stay up with him, he wouldn't be able to do it. He got bored easily when Dean was sleeping and he was awake, soon opting to just hit the sack himself.

Dean was tired, just so fucking tired. It had been a long ass day and it was nearing nightfall. He sighed, going into the hotel and getting out the ropes and chains. Hopefully, Sam wouldn't break through them.

At least they'd learned one important thing about werewolves that was damned useful. That they didn't change until they went to sleep. He looked at his brother with a worn-out look.

"You ready?" he asked.

Dean nodded to the chair. Sam didn't want to be in there. Not yet. It was too early. All was happening way too fast. He just needed to take a minute to breathe. To process the fact that tonight, he was going to change into a fucking werewolf and possibly hurt someone. Rip their heart out and probably eat the damn thing.

The thought alone had Sam grimacing. That would probably leave a disgusting aftertaste in his mouth for when he woke up the next morning. Gross.

Was he ready? Absolutely not. But Dean was right. They needed to do this. Especially since Dean was adament about his decision not to kill Sam. Even if it would make everything easier.

"Well, sit down Sammy," Dean said.

They'd get though this... together... somehow. They had to.

Frowning, Sam took a seat on the chair Dean had motioned towards. "Are you sure this chair isn't going to break?" he asked, a little worried. Once he changed, he was sure his strength would increase dramatically. And the last thing they needed was to have the fucking chair break and all the chains and shit be for nothing.

Dean looked sadly at Sam's grimacing expression. He wished his brother didn't have to go through this, but Dean was just too damn selfish to let Sam die. However, he looked pretty panicked. He waited a minute for Sam to get though all the thoughts in his head before beginning to chain him up and tie him up.

"I'll tie up your hands and feet separately too. So if it does break, you'll still be tied up."

He then gestured to the boarded up windows.

"Also, if you get out of your chair, you aren't getting out of the room. Madison couldn't get out of the locked up room you put her in. I'm sure you won't be any different."

Sam nodded as Dean explained everything to him. That sounded safe enough. Tied extra tight. Windows boarded up. But that still didn't help Dean. What if by chance Sam broke loose. Sure, the world would be safe, but Dean wouldn't be. He'd be in the room with Sam. Boarded up and locked tight. Sam didn't like that idea.

Dean chained his hands and feet to the chair, Sam's waist to the chair, and his hands behind the chair. He also tied his feet up. After he was done, he pulled up a chair and sat in front of Sam, intent on staying awake through the night to watch over him, despite the fact that he was exhausted.

"Sorry I couldn't make things more... comfortable for you," he said.

"Dean, you should just go somewhere else for the night," Sam suggested. "Come back to get me tomorrow morning."

It was pushing it, and he knew that. Dean would never leave him. Especially not when he was about to change into a werewolf. Even if it was the smart thing to do. But Sam really couldn't blame him, he supposed. If their positions would have been reversed, he was sure he wouldn't leave Dean's side.

"No way in hell. I'm staying with you Sammy," Dean said.

So, Sam was just going to have to deal with the fact that Dean wasn't leaving. And pray to God that he didn't get out and hurt his brother. However, he just couldn't kill that fear growing in his gut, telling him he was going to lose Dean because of this whole mess.

Sam tried. He tried so fucking hard to stay awake. But the night before, he hadn't gotten much sleep due to a hunt he and Dean were on. And then, after the job was done, Dean wanted to head to the bar, of course. So, they didn't get in until about 2:30, and then it took Sam about an hour to fall asleep. Needless to say, he was pretty damn tired.

He felt his eyes start to drift closed, and he fought it as long as he could. But finally, he couldn't help but give in to the exhaustion.

Hours ticked by as Sam slept peacefully, his soft snoring the only sounds in the room. The full moon was high in the sky, bekoning the wolf out of hiding. Begging it to show itself and wreak havoc on this small town. And the wolf answered the call of the moon.

Sam's fingernails elongated turning into massive claws that could tear through bone if he chose to. His teeth turning into long, razor sharp fangs, and his champagne hazel eyes turned a pale blue, staring at Dean as though he was prey. Snarls broke from Sam as he struggled against the bindings, trying to get at Dean. He wanted Dean. Only wanted to get to his big brother. And nothing was going to stop him from doing so.


End file.
